Being kind to yourself – Some words of wisdom

(This post is a guest contribution by Namrata Kumari. Read more about her in the author bio below the post.)

When I look around, I see a perpetual sadness on faces. Most of which is because of what people wanted to achieve but couldn’t and also because they are grinding themselves in the pressure to be the person they wanted to be in their dreams (most of which are not backed by actions needed).

The Internet is booming with motivational thoughts to turn your passion into a way to make a living. Every day we come across these over simplified statements that we can be whatever we want, and these words of wisdom are mostly characterised by a high degree of abstraction where the reality and hardships of life are hidden neatly to present every human as a superhuman. And we could not live up to our own expectations of ourselves that are too high most of the times.

I see my fellow associates, younger or much older than me in my office in the common dilemma as I am or have been, figuring out what life will turn up to, either finding our true calling or making arrangements to live better. However, during our endeavours to build a perfect life we stop doing what was the most important, living itself.

I sometimes wish to ask people to stop chasing for a while and breathe deep and easy, to not to push too hard and be kind to themselves.

The chase and the maze of life are unending, but the life is not.

So, here are these some words of wisdom which will give you a big picture of the generalities of the world, help you feel good about life, guide you towards happiness and will make you know how you fit in here too.

Hobbies don’t necessarily turn into a profession.

Do you have a passion or a hobby which gives you happiness and you are totally on an opposite path in your profession? Have you been thinking about making your hobby your profession? If you have really made up your mind, I support you. But never ignore the fact that not everyone has to do this. Hobbies are the sparks of our life, a zone of happiness. The harsh reality is, anything that you do to create money as a profession, doesn’t remain that exciting. Eventually, you would seek for another spark, another hobby for your free time. That’s the basic difference between profession and hobby. The former you do as a service to others in a fixed deadline to pay off your bills, and the later gives you a sense of freedom and relief as you do it just for yourself, no matter what it is. So, it is okay if your hobby and profession are not same.

All of us do not have to quit our jobs

How to get rid of your 9-5? When I hear this, I laugh for a while as it makes me think of the fad that has unfurled itself over us. Humans have been imitating each other since their inception, and in the long run, we forget what we actually wish to achieve by doing things that we do. We should accept the possibilities of liking our job too. It is great to keep evolving and acquiring new skills or earn a little more than before but only if your heart says so, not for the trend of course. So, if you see your job is satisfying you financially and mentally, you can follow your dreams along with it. Ultimately, you must decide what is good for you.

It might take longer to achieve those goals

Dreams don’t work unless you do. And it needs patience and persistence to accomplish goals. I work in a 9-5 and just like me if you too, you must know how difficult it is sometimes to keep up with your personal goals. For people like me who cannot just quit their jobs, the need for patience becomes paramount. The generation we belong to is said to be the most impatient one as we are accustomed to the speed and cannot wait for things to get done. Maybe, we can commute or communicate much faster today, but certain laws of the world don’t change. If we take small and steady steps along with a robust belief in our dreams, we are bound to succeed (maybe after multiple failures).

Success is always a series of well-chosen compromises

Get ‘the best of both worlds’ is totally a misleading phrase. One who has closely observed life would know that in order to be with something, one has to leave the other behind. If we think of the goals that we wish to accomplish, we must make compromises in the different fronts of life. Many a time I have said no to friends for movies or meet ups in order to save time for the things I had prioritised. It doesn’t mean one must turn into a social piranha to achieve goals, but one must learn to make correct choices and to say no when needed.

Happiness has nothing to do with money

The mad race for money can always be justified with several arguments. Of course, money is indispensable. But it cannot buy happiness, and that remains a fact. Happiness, in fact, lies within us. It is a part of our identity. Happiness is not just in laughter or abundance but it also lies in the peace of mind, it is in the pursuit to be happy. No money, no love, no place can make you happy if you do not decide to be. Always find those little ways to treat yourself, meet people you love, watch the setting sun and go for long and short trips. Do as much as you can to find solace, make beautiful memories so that when on our death beds we lie, we die as happy people.

The greatest investment will be what you do in yourself

Do you usually skip your meals for work or miss those workout sessions to attend that important meeting? Most of us do this every day unaware of the loss we put ourselves into. The consequences of these daily sacrifices for work will lurk in our lives after several years of carelessness. I see my elders suffer at old age due to those ten minutes they couldn’t spare for themselves. These little investments of time, energy and money that we do for our health and fitness pay off for a long time. Exercise and healthy diet also help us reduce anxiety, be more energetic throughout the day and look good at the same time.

At the age of 25, I have realised that life will never cease to be a constant struggle for survival. One has to earn money to pay bills. I see, people burdened by paying off EMIs all their lives for the houses, cars and education loans they have taken. In the process of preparing for life, we have actually stopped living. The human society is built as such, that’s a pity. But we can still steal some time from our lives to make it feel not just a struggle.

“Take it easy when you are busy! It shall never be easy but, take it easy!”
… Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Namrata Kumari
System Engineer, Tata Consultancy Services Limited,
Blogger at namratakumari.com

Author Bio:

Namrata Kumari is an engineer by profession working for Tata Consultancy Services.She is also an author, poetess and blogger. Her work can be found in her blog “Namratakumari.com“.

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